JUNE 10TH

I was nervously waiting as my wife sat up on the bed with her hands behind her back. It was probably close to midnight, and I had just gotten back from California two hours earlier. Right before I left the west coast my wife told me she had something to tell me when I got home. I had no idea what it could be, and my California trip was so crazy I forgot all about it until I walked into the bedroom.

As I sat there for what seemed like a minute or two she looked at me with the poker face of a Las Vegas hustler. I had no idea where this was going. When someone’s hands are behind their back (especially your significant others) you can’t be quite sure what’s coming next, so imagine my surprise when I saw that her hands were holding four home pregnancy tests.

The first thought I had was, why the heck does she have four pregnancy tests. Then knowing who she is and what we’ve been through I started to see the bigger picture. We had been trying to have a child for some time now and nothing came to pass. Now out of literally nowhere I’m staring at four test that all have the + sign on them.

I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!

I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach, it’s like when something great happens to us and we look around to make sure there are no hidden cameras present. I thought back to the guy whose friend pranked him by giving him a lottery ticket with fake numbers on it. I remember seeing this poor guy jump around and go crazy thinking he just won 50 million dollars, all to be crushed five minutes later. My wife must have been thinking the same thing (that’s the reason for 4 tests instead of the standard 1) after we hugged I couldn’t get those five words out of my head.

I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!!

Growing up without a father I’ve always wanted to have a child of my own. I wanted my child to not grow up wondering what life would be like if he/she had a father. I wanted to do the things my dad would of done for me had he still been alive. Introduce them to sports for the first time, sneak them ice cream when mom grounds them etc. I use to dream about my father when I was younger, mostly with my eyes open. I would wonder what we would talk about, or if we would hang out as I got older. At my college graduation I imagined him standing there waiting to give me a hug as I crossed the stage.

As I write this we’re at the halfway point of the process. For the last four and a half months everyone has been giving us their prediction of the baby’s gender. I would say 99% of our friends/family have been saying it’s going to be a girl. Maybe because they like the thought of me having this little girl and her having me wrapped around her little finger. Or my daughters first date interview, where I hand the young man some boxing gloves.

This whole time I’ve been quiet, I haven’t said a word. My only response has been, “As long as the baby is healthy I’ll be happy”. But this whole time I had a secret. I knew something that the other 99% didn’t, I was having a boy. It was meant to be, I knew the man/woman upstairs wanted me to be a father to a son first. Yesterday I found out that even before HE is fully developed my SON is going against the grain. The 99% were wrong. Melissa and I are having a BOY.

I hope one day my son can take the same picture that I took specifically for this blog. A picture of someone that he respected and admired even long after his death. Someone who left a legacy, who showed him what being a man was all about. Someone that tried to make an impact on the world before he left it.

On June 10, 2013 I’m going to have an opportunity to do all the things I envisioned my father would do with me. Ever since I got married all our friends/family have always asked when we’re having a baby. I would just give them an awkward smile and slowly side step the question. Now we not only have an answer we have a date.